I Believe The End Is Near...
Yeah so I haven't blogged in a while. Hardly ever blog at all anymore really. Not much to talk about just another effing day in this pathetic Group Home. Still getting tried by Allah. Still going thru Hell with these racing thoughts, etc. Madness. Anyway, lately, I have been reading about 100+ Pages a day out of my Holy Qur'an. Every day I have been reading that much and totally enjoying myself as I go. Absorbing everything that I read too. You wouldn't believe how many bookmarks I got in this Holy Qur'an. My Holy Qur'an looks like a total mess. So many pieces of paper are in it. When i'm finished i'll post a picture of it so you can see. It literally looks like I bookmarked damn near every single page. Anyway, i'll be making somewhat of a lengthy blog tonight I believe.
I'll tell you why I know Allah is God and Islam is the truth. In The Holy Qur'an, Muhammad ( peace be upon him ) says that when Allah wants to " guide " someone, he opens their breast ( heart ) to Islam. This is so true and so me. And I know for a fact this is true... Because, after I got locked up, and was in Jail, I had every opportunity in the WORLD to pick up a Bible and read it. There was Bibles in every cell I was locked up in. Most guys in there had a Bible and would read it daily and even offered it to me many times. And every time I refused to read it. Now, wouldn't you think that, after all God put me thru on October 7th, 2007, that I would be more than willing to read a Bible ? After all, up until that point in my life, the only " God " that I even knew was like Jesus and his " Father " - Jehovah. I didn't know ANYTHING about Allah and Islam. I was raised as a Christian as well. But no way. I was NOT interested in reading the Bible AT ALL. It never crossed my mind. However, about 1 year and a half after getting locked up, my friend Keith Thornton introduced me to Islam. At first, I was kinda " hesitant " because of all the stuff I heard on the news about it and the whole " 9/11 " thing, etc.
But, after he hit me with a few verses out of it, I was like " man... I gotta read this thing ". And so I did. I remember the first night that I read it, I must have sat there for 3 hours straight and read about 250 pages of it. I couldn't put it down. I just had this feeling about it that what I was reading was the TRUTH. So as you can see this is why I KNOW Islam is the truth and Allah is my God. And, as I am now nearing the end of The Holy Qur'an, ( I am on about page 1,400 out of 1,700 pages so i'll wrap it up sometime this weekend )... I have this feeling inside of me that Allah is going to save me VERY SOON now. I've never felt this way before. The whole time i've been in this Group Home, i've always had this " sense " of like the unknown and wondering when Allah would save me. Hoping Allah would save me. Wondering when this Madness would end. But for some reason I just got this feeling inside of me that Allah is going to make me Happy very soon now. And I trust that he will. I put all my trust in Allah. Allah got me into this situation and Allah is the only one who can get me out of it.
Lately I have also been getting on my knees and bowing my head and praying to Allah. Usually I would just stare up at the ceiling when i'm in bed when I pray but I have definitely noticed that when I get on my knees, bow my head, and put my hands on my head, that I feel so much closer to Allah. It like there is nothing else going on except for the thoughts running thru my head and knowing that Allah is listening to everything that goes thru my head. I have been praying " Allah, please save me before the Summer starts... " - " Allah, please, I want this to be the best Summer of my life... " - " Allah, please don't make me spend another Summer locked up in this Group Home suffering from these maddening racing thoughts... " - because, if I am still here this Summer, this would be the Sixth Summer in a row that I have lost because i've been locked up. But like I say... I just have a feeling and trust in Allah that he will finally answer my prayers and save me before Summer starts.
Allah is testing me very hard right now but I have to believe that one day he will save me because he SAYS he will in The Holy Qur'an. Many times I have read that Allah will deliver those who have faith and put their trust in him. He will deliver you from the hardship that you are going thru. So I must trust my creator. There's no way in Hell that he wants me to suffer my whole life I cannot believe that would be the case. And honestly, when I really think about it, I believe that ALLAH is testing me so hard because when he finally does save me, he wants me to be forever grateful to him for saving my soul. He will give me good things and doesn't want it to go to my head. He doesn't want me to become very arrogant and think i'm better than other people because I have nice things. He doesn't want me to become so arrogant that I turn my back on him and forget that I should be praising him for everything he has given me. I know this has to be why he tests me so hard. And I know that NOW Allah knows that I will be grateful to him FOREVER for saving me. Allah knows I will thank him for everything that he gives me. I'll get on my knees, bow my head, and praise Allah for all the blessings that he has given me. I know I will...
Anyway ppl, that's about all I have to say for now. All I know is Page Hopkins was born at the end of February and I would really like to be there for her Birthday.
Well, that's about it.
Till next time...